About six months ago, gathered around the dinner table with my wife and two kids, the conversation drifted into the shadowy realm of the supernatural. We traded beliefs on whether ghosts walk among us, and I finally unearthed a chilling secret I had kept buried: I have actually seen a ghost. I was about eight years old, awake in the eerie stillness well before dawn. As I sat eating breakfast, I peered through the window at the house across the street and spotted a misty apparition drifting from my neighbour’s front door. I stared, blinked away my disbelief, and looked again, the phantom was still lingering. When I heard someone else stirring in our house, I turned to check, and by the time I looked back, the spirit had vanished into the morning fog. Later that day, my mother delivered a blood-curdling revelation: one of our neighbours had passed away the very night before. Did I truly see a wandering soul, or did my young mind conjure a phantom to process the grim reality of death? I’m still not certain, but that chilling encounter forever altered how I view the spirit world.
You might be wondering how a chilling ghost story connects to the very real world of leadership. As someone who has spent a lifetime dissecting my own leadership and observing others, I believe our professional lives are crawling with ghosts, and these lingering spirits hold terrifying sway over our ability to lead. Where do these phantoms come from? There are two primary crypts from which they rise.
The first breed of poltergeists are conjured by our own dark behaviours and poor decisions. These are the spectres we drag into the mortal realm when we inflict harm on others. Whether the damage was an accidental misstep or an intentional hex, the result is the same: a ghost is born. My own leadership closet is full of these rattling skeletons. I can easily spot the ghoulish “do what’s best for me” phantom and the sinister “you’re lying again” wraith, among many other monsters I have unwittingly created and fed over the years.
The second crypt of ghosts is spawned through our intense interactions with others. These spirits are essentially vessels, capturing the raw, crackling emotional energy of powerful encounters. Interestingly, these entities aren’t always malevolent; an intensely positive interaction can conjure a benevolent, glowing spirit. The trick, however, is that these friendly ghosts rarely possess the stubborn, lingering power of their darker counterparts. A fiercely negative clash breeds a much stronger, immortal demon, which casts a long, shadowy curse over our future leadership. Because these ghosts are forged in the fires of relationships, weak or superficial connections rarely generate spirits that stick around. I have plenty of these relational phantoms haunting my halls, from the warm "you made a difference" spirit to the terrifying "run over by a bus" monster. Thankfully, my friendly spirits vastly outnumber the ghouls.
No matter how they were summoned, these ghosts haunt our daily lives, rattling their chains in the dark. The poltergeists born from my own poor choices torment me with guilt, shame, embarrassment, and a desperate thirst for redemption. When these spirits materialize, they aren't just terrifying me for fun; they are flashing warning signs that something in my world is out of balance. The haunting is a golden opportunity to break the curse and fix the damage. By accepting the phantom's grim message and altering my behaviour, I give the ghost exactly what it craves: the peace to resolve its unfinished business and cross over into the after-world. But if I plug my ears and ignore their mournful wails, the ghosts refuse to leave. They fester, fuse with my psyche, and poison my future choices. If I heed their warnings, however, they fade away, leaving behind the magical artifacts of new skills and confidence to ward off future hauntings.
When we are haunted by the relational spirits forged with others, exorcism is trickier because resolving the unfinished business is tethered to the other person, or sometimes requires a third-party ghost hunter. When a glowing, positive ghost is born from a great interaction, we often selfishly want to keep it trapped in our realm. But hoarding these spirits prevents their true, lasting legacy. Helping them cross over means reconnecting with the person and sharing that positive energy, perhaps casting a simple spell of gratitude. This ritual affirms our bonds, deepens trust, and allows the ghost to depart, replaced by a living, breathing kindred spirit who joins our inner circle.
The dark wraiths born of intense negative conflicts are far more ferocious. They dig their claws in, refusing to move on, tethering themselves not just to us, but to other people and the very rooms where the cursed interaction occurred. Even decades later, stepping into certain locations or crossing paths with specific people can paralyze me with the chilling grip of an old haunting. Exorcising these demons requires both parties to willingly participate in a cleansing ritual, or relying on a third-party mediator. Because full resolution is often impossible, we must forge personal wards and protections, like setting iron-clad boundaries, sharing the burden, or clearing away the psychological cobwebs. The strongest wards are built through skill development and personal growth. While hiding under the covers or complaining might keep the monsters at bay temporarily, it only invites future attacks.
A master leader learns to transmute the dark energy of a haunting into a shield of light. I haven't been able to banish every demon from my past, but I have learned to channel their chilling energy into a positive impact. I have vowed to myself countless times, "I won’t let that happen again," or "I will protect others from this fate". The ghost may remain, but I can create a protective aura, generating good spirits in its wake and dampening the negative.
Exceptional leaders are master ghost hunters. They use the lantern of reflective practice and emotional awareness to identify the phantoms lurking in their shadows. They constantly hone their skills and relationships to guide these restless spirits to the after-world. And most importantly, they master the alchemy of conjuring far more friendly ghosts than malevolent ghouls for themselves and their teams. Hauntings don’t have to be a curse; turning them into a blessing is entirely our choice.
