Our Leadership Universe

This past weekend, we embarked on a bittersweet journey: moving our daughter into her new place with classmates near campus. While a part of us yearns for her to forge her own path, another, equally significant part, wishes she were still home, a vibrant, if sometimes messy, part of our daily lives. This pivotal transition, for all of us, brought to mind a fascinating podcast series I enjoyed: "The Universe" by Dr. Katie Mack and John Green. It delved into the cosmos' past and potential futures, and surprisingly, its themes resonated with our daughter's big move and, even more so, with leadership.

Gravity

Consider gravity – the irresistible force of attraction. In many ways, strong leadership is a form of gravity. Exceptional leaders, through their actions, draw people in. They ignite meaning and purpose, pulling individuals together to conquer formidable challenges. Developing your leadership prowess can be seen as cultivating your own gravitational field, attracting people to you and your ideas, fostering powerful bonds within groups. Sharpening your communication and interpersonal skills is a crucial first step in building this field. But sustaining that orbit, keeping people engaged with you or an idea, requires far more. Great leaders master the art of applying precisely the right amount of gravity, attuned to the circumstance and individuals, over extended periods to achieve lasting impact and success. They deftly deflect the pull of distractions, shield their teams from external forces, yet simultaneously empower each member to shine brightly within the team's solar system. These leaders possess highly refined instincts, born from a profound dedication to their own well-being and that of their teams. They understand the intricate dance of building diverse relationships, coupled with an unwavering resilience to criticism and negativity.

However, some forces masquerading as good leadership can exert a deceptive gravitational pull, often revealing harmful and dangerous incentives too late. We become so deeply committed so quickly that we lose ourselves, or our identity becomes too entrenched to be able to leave. Even when we recognize a toxic situation, the gravitational pull of the situation can be overwhelming, requiring an equal or greater force to break free. Our ability to escape this negative gravity is directly linked to our own skills and knowledge, as well as the strength of our support systems. In the most extreme cases, a black hole can form in the workplace – a place where the gravitational pull is so immense that nothing can escape. Yet, effective leaders know when to intensify their gravitational pull when circumstances demand it. They also keenly sense when the pull is too strong, creating undue pressure, or too weak, leading to a lack of productivity. Moreover, wise leaders acknowledge the existence of other, often unquantifiable, forces at play within a team.

Dark Matter

Enter dark matter (or dark energy), the counterbalancing force to gravity. It's "dark" because it's invisible and seemingly doesn't interact with the tangible world. From a leadership perspective, an analogous "dark energy" exists within teams. These invisible forces subtly counteract the gravitational pull of leaders and team members. Astute leaders grasp that these forces are not only real but also constantly present within a group. They influence the team in ways that are neither obvious nor easily measured. This dark energy is surprisingly vital to a healthy team; it creates essential space between leaders and team members, fostering creativity, innovation, and new opportunities. These spaces also facilitate interaction with other groups, teams, or ideas. Dark matter is often emotional in nature, manifesting as tension, happiness, or discomfort, frequently stemming from or met and unmet expectations, perceptions, and biases. While good leaders can't control this dark matter, they keenly recognize its presence and adjust their gravitational approach accordingly.

Dark matter operates within the spaces between people. If unchecked, its influence can accelerate, rapidly increasing the distance between individuals. This can be a natural and healthy outcome for a team. As team members grow and develop, they cultivate their own gravitational force, attracting new people and ideas. While benefiting from this growth, they are also subtly propelled away from their past by dark matter. In this positive scenario, dark matter acts as a launching pad, propelling them and their new relationships towards a better, healthier, and more rewarding future.

Conversely, dark matter can propel people into an uncertain and precarious future. When team members lack skills or negatively impact a team, the surrounding dark energy pushes them away from the team's gravity, launching them into a work environment of isolation that harms both them and the organization. This isolation can also occur when a leader with an excessive gravitational pull suddenly departs. The unifying force vanishes, and the ever-present dark matter acts rapidly in gravity's absence, instantly isolating team members, perhaps not in task, but certainly in their sense of belonging. 

Teams aren't just groups of people; they're like cosmic entities with their own gravitational pull and mysterious dark energy. These forces dictate a team's power to draw in or push away other groups. Imagine a high-performing team: it has enough internal "space" to effortlessly collaborate with a wide array of clients. And here's the magic – it also possesses enough "gravity" to seize opportunities that other teams can only dream of attracting.  

A Balanced Leadership Universe

Good leaders relentlessly hone their skills to create gravitational pull within a team. They possess a deep understanding of their limitations and how their abilities influence group success. They expertly cultivate collective meaning and purpose, challenging and supporting team members while honoring their individuality.

Great leaders, however, grasp that while gravitational forces drive initial success, future triumphs hinge on their response to dark matter. They embrace dark matter's ability to create space for new experiences, opportunities, and learning, even if it means the loss of team members. Great leaders seem to instinctively know when the space between people is negatively impacting performance and well-being, and they adjust their gravitational force accordingly or allow dark matter to reign temporarily.

If your ambition is to be a good leader, continue to develop your gravitational skills. But if you aspire to be a truly great leader who leaves an enduring legacy of success, dedicate yourself to understanding and responding to the forces of dark matter within a team. As my daughter embarks on this new chapter, my wife and I hold onto the hope that our gravitational influence remains, yet we also profoundly hope that the dark matter shaping her transition serves as a powerful launching point for incredible success.