Pet Rocks

My playlist often jumps between the 70s, 80s, and 90s. But on a recent hike, I tuned into a station playing nothing but 70s hits. What really caught my attention, though, were the vintage ads sprinkled between the songs—reminiscing about fads like bell bottoms, leisure suits, and, believe it or not, pet rocks.

The pet rock ad, in particular, made me chuckle. It pitched the ultimate low-maintenance companion: no feeding, no walking, no grooming, no vet bills, and absolutely no misbehavior. It reminded me of the pet rock my parents once gave me as a gag gift.

As I kept hiking, the ad replayed, and a surprising connection began to form in my mind: the pet rock's "ideal pet" qualities and today's work environment.

The pet rock, an icon of effortless companionship, demanded nothing yet always delivered on its owner's unspoken desires. Many managers secretly yearn for the same from their teams: show up, perform flawlessly, and cause zero fuss. This desire can become so intense that it shapes their entire management philosophy. They meticulously track hours, issue precise instructions, and then expect gratitude in return. For these managers, consistency and predictability are paramount; any deviation from the norm is perceived as a personal affront or a direct failing of the employee.

The "Pet Rock" management style, by its very nature, cultivates a workforce of actual pet rocks – at least among those who endure it. This approach, fixated on uniformity, actively suppresses the unique strengths of team members, forcing them into conformity and a low profile. Much like the 1970s game Whac-a-mole, team members are metaphorically "whacked" whenever they dare to look beyond their assigned roles and engage with broader elements. Consequently, they adapt their behaviors, unknowingly transforming into the very employees a Pet Rock manager craves: those who simply do what they're told, ask no questions, and avoid interaction. As a former colleague lamented to me recently, "I have become exactly the employee my organization wants. Quiet, obedient, and invisible."

Paradoxically, Pet Rock Managers who successfully achieve this level of team disengagement often perceive it as a sign of strength. They see an absence of conflict, no challenging questions, and any emerging issues are conveniently blamed on external factors beyond their or their team's control. Team members, on the surface, maintain a veneer of civility and politeness, which the manager misinterprets as genuine desire and willingness.

Until...the manager inevitably asks team members to change, solve a problem, try something new, or take on more responsibility. Suddenly, from the manager's perspective, the team becomes incredibly confrontational, obstinate, and resistant. Team members transform into the antithesis of a pet rock—imagine a 'high-maintenance pet' that demands constant feeding, daily walks, meticulous grooming, and frequent vet visits. This new 'pet' could also fall gravely sick or badly misbehave. Pet rock managers are baffled, unable to comprehend the surge of negativity. They've merely asked staff to help solve a problem, or take on a new task. But for the staff, the request is anything but simple. It's an assault, a puncture to the tightly guarded personal identity that team members have suppressed like an overfilled water balloon, ready to burst at the slightest disruption. Team members retaliate with remarks like, 'That's not my job; that's your job.' These confrontations often drive managers in one of two directions: an escalation of the conflict and a forceful re-establishment of the desired pet rock approach, or a capitulation by the manager, once again leading back to the desired pet rock state."

What do good leaders do?

Effective leaders, especially those in management and supervisory positions, recognize that the "pet rock" state—a seemingly ideal, perfectly compliant work environment—is an illusion. They understand that the intricate challenges of any work environment are best met by harnessing the diverse strengths and complexities of their team.

Paradoxically, good leaders see certain forms of unrest, disobedience, non-compliance, and challenge from their teams not as problems, but as vital signs of innovation, strength, and resilience. I learned this firsthand in student housing: some policy violations were actually indicators of a healthy, thriving community. For instance, noise violations from groups on the same floor often suggested a well-socialized community, not an unhealthy one. The policy was broken because a strong social foundation was already in place. However, repeated and escalating noise violations from the same group would signal an unwell community, lacking a foundation of social responsibility.

The professional world mirrors this. A "pet rock" manager might view lengthy meetings, derailed by tangential conversations, as unproductive and negative. But a truly effective leader sees these same behaviors as a clear demonstration of a creative, engaged, and vibrant team.

Even small disruptions in the daily grind aren't necessarily bad; they're often a sign that your team is ready for more, eager for challenges, deeply engaged, and gearing up for whatever unexpected curveballs that come their way. Great leaders understand this, offering flexibility during calm periods and then raising the bar when the pressure's on. And guess what? Team members rise to the occasion! They're ready to go the extra mile, support their peers, often without a second thought for what they'll get in return. For those working under a strong leader, the freedom to truly be themselves at work is a daily gift. So, when things get tough, they're simply paying that gift forward to their leader and their teammates.

Working for a Pet Rock manager? Don't let their style silence you. Be the mole who bravely pops its head up, even if it risks a whack. You don't need to intentionally stir the pot, but you can still be authentic and express yourself. Resist the urge to become the employee your organization wants; instead, be the employee you aspire to be. In a Pet Rock environment, non-conformity is a gift you give yourself. Your self-expression is vital for your well-being and hones your leadership skills. When you eventually lead your own team, you'll recognize the Pet Rock mirage for what it is and build a team of vibrant misfits, charlatans, and characters—a team of human beings, with all their beautiful frailties and boundless potential.

And if you're a Pet Rock manager yourself, it's not too late to transform. Start by simply apologizing and owning the situation you've created. Reveal your authentic self to your team and earn their trust, so they can reveal themselves to you. Build your team from your vulnerabilities outward; in doing so, you'll demonstrate your limitless capacity for human ingenuity and caring.