Checking In
Our family hotel check-ins were legendary! Forget smooth arrivals – picture a mountain of luggage and at least one queasy kid – but the moment we hit that lobby? Pure magic. Two room keys were non-negotiable (one for each child), setting off an immediate elevator race. Button-pushing etiquette was swiftly enforced: press the call button, relinquish the floor button. Elevator doors opened to a mad dash, someone inevitably heading the wrong way, the victor of the door-opening ceremony then lunging for the best bed. A whirlwind of touching and exploring followed. This wasn't a one-time thing; for years, every hotel stay involved the same elevator button battles and keycard competitions. Even now, as teenagers, those little quirks resurface, sparking fond memories of our chaotic, laughter-filled check-ins.
Leaving my role a year ago sparked a deliberate effort to connect with my network. These check-ins have become a source of significant reflection, prompting me to re-evaluate their crucial role in leadership. In my previous work life, checking in felt like a natural part of my routine. I'd make an effort to pop into my team's space, stroll through other departments, and weave personal touches into meetings to foster connection. As an extrovert, I took these interactions for granted, not fully grasping their potential for leadership growth. Looking back, I see missed chances to boost performance and achieve greater success because I prioritized tasks over genuine connection. It also became clear that my check-ins suffered when my own well-being was challenged. Overwhelmed and stressed, I'd withdraw, mistakenly believing I was too busy to connect. Lunch at my desk, working from home – my focus narrowed to "getting things done." My social circle dwindled, a choice I wrongly thought was necessary to manage pressure and protect myself. It was the exact opposite of what I needed.
Leaving my full-time role became a turning point in how I connect with people. I decided to inject the energy and excitement of our chaotic family hotel check-ins into my professional interactions. Remember those legendary arrivals with mountains of luggage and at least one queasy kid? The magic happened in the lobby with the race for two room keys and elevator button etiquette. That same spirit is what I aim for now when checking in with my network. Initially, I retreated after leaving my job, limiting contact and even ignoring outreach. Isolation felt necessary, a period of space and time to regroup. But it was the wrong approach, a lesson learned through experience. Retreating from my community wasn't the answer.
One year later, a key lesson has crystalized: leadership growth hinges on our willingness to connect, especially when we'd rather retreat. Feeling stressed and overwhelmed? The surprising antidote is reaching out with compassion and a desire to share. Intentionally checking in with your network – current team, past colleagues, even those you haven't spoken to in ages – can bring a sense of calm and perspective. It's a powerful reminder that you're not the only one navigating pressure, and that connection is the ultimate antidote to isolation.
Checking in is a gift you give yourself, regardless of the other person's response. It shifts your focus outward, sparking empathy and curiosity. Approach it with genuine intent to connect, not to ask for something. Whether it's a quick text or a longer conversation, ask personal questions about their well-being, life, and work, and offer support. Build a consistent habit of thoughtful outreach. Tailor your approach – brief when they're stressed, more in-depth when they're transitioning. This builds trust and shows you're a leader who cares beyond surface-level positivity.
Want to truly connect and make a difference? Focus on giving value. It doesn't take much – a simple intro, a helpful tidbit, recognition, or just your focused attention. These small acts can bring significant relief and energy to others. Think of it as the power of connection: the more you give, the more you gain
Checking in isn't just a nice-to-do; it's a leadership essential, especially when you least feel like it. Think of those chaotic family hotel check-ins – the mad dash for keys, the elevator button battles – pure, energetic connection amidst the chaos. That's the spirit we need in our professional lives. Silence that inner critic whispering, "They're too busy," or "I don't want to bother them." That's precisely when reaching out matters most; connection makes all the difference.
Leaving my old role was a wake-up call. I realized I'd been taking those casual office chats for granted, missing chances to truly connect and elevate my team. Stress made me retreat, a huge mistake. Now, I see that reaching out, even when it feels like the last thing I want to do, is key.
I'm intentionally connecting – with current colleagues, past teammates, even those I haven't spoken to in a while. This isn't about asking for favors; it’s about genuine connection, a gift you give yourself. Genuine check-ins boost how others see my authenticity and stop my efforts from seeming like just surface-level positivity.
Being intentional in checking in bursts the bubble of feeling overwhelmed. It reminds you that you're not alone. It sharpens your empathy, opens doors, and builds authentic relationships. Ask real questions, listen actively, offer support. Be thoughtful, be strategic. A quick text to a busy connection, a longer chat with someone in a tough spot – it all matters.
The biggest lesson? The urge to withdraw is the very signal to reach out. Checking in with purpose isn't just good for others; it fuels your own growth, expands your impact, and strengthens your well-being. Great leaders know that every relationship holds value. So, reach out anytime – and if I send you a random check-in, know I'm working on my leadership skills.
