Stuck in the Moment
Ever felt trapped, like you're running on a treadmill that's going nowhere? One morning, you show up to work and it hits you: you're stuck. Bored, tense, with no sense of momentum or progress. It feels abrupt, but deep down, you know it’s been brewing. The job and people you once loved now feel like anchors. You've tried speaking up, addressing frustrations, maybe even venting to colleagues, convinced you're making headway. But it's an illusion. You've mistaken activity for progress, merely shuffling in place. The punch in the gut? Realizing you’re just as stuck as before. You are stuck in the moment and can’t get out. I've been there countless times, and I always circle back to the leadership lessons I have learned. I want to share two defining moments from early in my career, sparks that help me break free from that feeling of being trapped.
The White Chair:
Let me tell you about the time a student peed on someone's door. Not exactly a career highlight, right? This wasn’t a prank or a drunken mishap; it was deliberate, and this student had a reputation. I was ready to throw the book at them. My blood was boiling, and I knew they'd come into the meeting ready to fight. Then, something unexpected happened. In my office sat this ridiculous, oversized white chair—the kind that makes you feel like you’re about to tip over backwards when you sit in it. This student plopped down, leaned back too fast, and suddenly they were flailing, trying not to fall. In that instant, the anger melted away. Mine and theirs. I saw an opportunity, ditched my script, and simply asked in a calm quiet voice, “What were you thinking?” That moment changed everything. We both went into that room ready for a showdown, locked into our roles. That chair, in its clumsy way, disarmed us. It let us see each other as people, not just adversaries. And that’s when I realized, sometimes the best way to move forward is to let go of what you think is supposed to happen. We got to a solution that was better for everyone, because we were both able to step out of our predetermined roles. What I took from that wasn’t about furniture, it was about letting go of those expectations. Coming in to a situation assuming you know how it's going to end? Or how do you want it to end? You're just going to stay stuck. Recognizing that the other person is probably feeling the same way, that's a first step to disarming them too. Aim for understanding, and collaboration, and sometimes... a really unstable chair.
The Pacer.
Deadline looming and supervisor pressing, I frantically wrestled with a strategic document, struggling to find the right words and vision for my department. Suddenly, an odd distraction: a man pacing relentlessly outside my office. Back and forth, a rhythmic shuffle, punctuated by quick peeks inside. Thirty minutes of this human metronome grated on my nerves. "Is there a problem?" I snapped, aiming to banish the pacing phantom. Sheepishly, he admitted he was lost, seeking directions. I rattled them off, dripping with annoyance, and returned to my work, now even more frazzled. Two hours later, a knock. The pacer returned, this time offering thanks. He’d been wandering for an hour, and I was the first to offer help, however gruff. My jaw dropped. My intention? Not kindness, but dismissal. He was stuck, unable to ask; I was stuck, blind to anything beyond my own task and priorities. His gratitude was a jolt. Guilt washed over me. But then, something shifted. I was unstuck. Ideas flowed, connections sparked in my mind. His simple thank you transformed my approach in that moment and my future. I realized, when I'm only in my own head, I'm trapped. Lifting my gaze, seeking small ways to assist others, even when buried in work, became my fuel. Asking for help is hard, even for directions. And sometimes, helping someone else is the key to unlocking my own potential, a gift I give myself. Forget expectations of return; just give what’s easy, but valuable.
Are you feeling it too? That heavy, stuck feeling at work? It's more common than you think, and here's the twist: we often think we're moving when we're really just spinning our wheels, fueling frustration or sliding into apathy. But leaders? They find their way, even if it means a detour, or a step back. They see the emotional elevator isn't a way out. Real progress? It's about actions that truly spark momentum. I've been stuck many many times in work purgatory? I know it well. But I've learned to cut that stay short, to defuse the negativity and toxicity that traps us. And here's a secret: sometimes, helping someone else is the escape hatch. Simple acts of kindness, connection clear the fog, reveal new paths. So, how do you know when you're truly stuck? And more importantly, what are YOU doing to break free, or to help someone else find their way out? Being a great leader requires you to recognize those occasions of being stuck in the moment and being able to get out of it.
